Talking stick, collective intelligence tool

In a group, there's nothing more unpleasant than crosstalk and/or exchanges monopolized by the most prolix.

Native American tribes have brought us a simple and practical regulatory tool: the talking stick.

The principle is simple: only the person holding the stick can speak.

It can then be passed on to whomever asks for it, or to a person of one's choice.

The person who takes it must first reformulate what has been said before expressing his or her opinion.

This encourages others to listen, without interrupting, judging or commenting.

Once he feels he has been listened to, he bequeaths his baton.

Provided these principles are respected, this is active listening, as described by Thomas Gordon:

·      Putting the speaker first

·      Calm, respectful exchanges

·      Needs for attention and expression are met

·      No interruptions

This approach can be enriched by requiring everyone to have spoken before speaking again, or by choosing a regulator, etc.

We can also combine it with other approaches, such as Non-Violent Communication (NVC):

The one who gets the stick:

·      Shares what he/she has observed in terms of non-judgmental reformulation

·      Expresses feelings and sentiments

·      Indicates the need, satisfied or not, behind the feeling

·      States his or her request.

In this way, everyone can express themselves, and we understand the words and associated meanings.